My happy thought for the day

Was walking to work this morning and discovered a van with this logo on the side:


You'll never guess what the name of the company is...SUNRISE ERECTORS!!!!
Don't believe me? Check out their url: http://www.sunriseerectors.com/

Today was awesome.

2 weeks notice

If time is the most valuable comodity we have, why do we waste time doing something that makes us unhappy? Take the customary idea of giving 2 weeks notice when you're about to leave a job. I mean, you've clearly been looking for another job because you're miserable, and yet at the end of the day, you're supposed to be considerate enough to give them 2 weeks notice to find a replacement. Hell, the job hasn't even been considerate enough to make you happy, they haven't noticed you've been looking for another job; they clearly don't give a shit about you. And yet, even if they did notice you were absent for a couple days because you mysteriously got the flu in the middle of the summer, they're not saying anything or doing anything about it. If we want out, why can't we just exit gracefully and shock them just like they shocked us in that first interview with all the questions and anxiety and hesitation? If they can do a massive round of layoffs without any warning- without giving us time to look around, why can't we just quit and leave them high and dry? I just don't get it.

It seems like the biggest load of bull crap I have yet to encounter in the work force. It's not like any project can truly wrap up in 2 weeks. It's not like just anyone can be trained to replace what you've worked years doing. So why do we bother giving in to this corporate hogwash? And honestly, what's with the exit interview? Seriously. After X amount of years, all you've wanted was to give the company a piece of your mind; to call out the people who suck and have made your life miserable; to give praise to the people who have made it bareable and to suggest things they could do to keep the rest of them there. However, they wait until you're leaving to ask you what you really think! Do they honestly think the answers will be positive? And if they are, do they pat themselves on the back and think "oh well, nothing we could have done would have made her stay?" Let's face it. People leave because something is lacking. Whether it be a better opportunity elsewhere, or a relocation, you leave because you can't/don't want to waste any more time where you are. You need change.

It's like my last breakup. We were madly in love (I think) and after a weekend of not spending enough time together, he says he thinks we need to take a break (sidebar- breaks are bullshit; either you break up or you stay together - there's no grey area). But this was no ordinary break. He wanted a 2 week break. Instantly I realized that this was my opportunity to have an exit interview; to say everything I had wanted to say over those past 2 years. Only here's the catch. He wanted to say everything HE had wanted to say. That's when I knew it was over. Sure, I would agree to a 2 week break, but only because it was "the right thing to do." Bullshit. I had been brainwashed by work to think that 2 weeks was standard for everything. I should have just said, "No thanks. Let's call this what it is. A break up." Once you've done that exit interview, you can't go back and say you've made a mistake. Two weeks notice is final. That's it. Sayonara.

But really, how awesome would it be to you say to your job, hey, do you mind if I take a 2 week break and decide if I'm still feelin' you? If not, then, see ya. Oh ya, and don't bother seeing me out. I packed up my stuff while you were too busy to notice how miserable i was.

Beautiful

An incredible scene from the movie Bent



(Synopsis: During WWII, a Berlin homosexual is caught up in the Nazi hysteria. After being forced to kill his lover, he is placed in a prison camp, where he lies so he will be classified as Jewish rather than homosexual. After a series a constitution-breaking incidents, his love for a fellow male prisoner brings him to admit his true nature.)

Abandoning my fix

My local Starbucks is undergoing renovation, so I've decided to take a break from coffee. I think I've become addicted. The first day I withdrew, I had such an insane headache that I couldn't function. Been trying to stay away from caffeine in general cuz let's face it, I really don't need the extra energy. I've replaced my vice with Super B-Complex vitamins. So far so good. Not gonna lie though. When my Starbucks reopens, I might be forced to go in just to see what it looks like. And I might be forced to get my usual Grande Skinny Vanilla Latte. Don't hate me.

Steve Martin, not a bad writer.

Shopgirl
6.3/10 Rotten Tomatoes rating

[Ray]
"And um, just so you know, I'm sorry for the way I treated you."

[Mirabelle]
"I know."

[Ray Porter]
"I did love you."

[Narrator]
"As Ray Porter watches Mirabelle walk away he feels a loss. How is it possible, he thinks, to miss a woman whom he kept at a distance so that when she was gone, he would not miss her. Only then does he realize how wanting part of her and not all of her, had hurt them both. And how he can not justify his actions, except that, well, it was life."

Love creativity? Then quit. Please.

Dear M-
You murder creativity and should retire. If you don't, I fear that our clients will never know what killer creative work is. Quit being so selfish and think about it. We might even throw you a goodbye party.

Thanks.
Leah

It's tech-sonal.

It's been a long time, but here is one of the long-awaited stoner rants.
Today's topic? Technology.

Recently i've been wondering; can you get to know and establish a relationship with someone based on text message alone? We're talkin, from the time you meet 'til a month later, the only other instance you've seen and/or shared a spoken conversation might have been just the one time you met! I'm not sure!! It's strange- all of a sudden you have to be really wise about what you write and really think before you speak. Everything can be misconstrued because you can't hear the other person's tone of voice. And as much as I love and embrace all new technology, I noticed that all this new shit eliminates our need to have face-to-face conversations.

We've essentially become extremely quiet, because we avoid all real conversation and instead look into a screen to communicate. How many times have you been sitting right next to someone and IM'ed them?? I do it constantly. In a way, it's made everything a lot more private/personal and in turn makes people a lot more suspicious and insecure about what's goin on around them. I no longer hear conversations next to me. If a friend of mine is with me and starts texting, there's always that thought "is she texting about me? why does she have to do this now?" Technology just makes everyone more private- it's crazy! Overhearing conversations is one of my favorite things! That's why sites like overheard.com do so well! Cuz you get to experience someone else's conversation just by listening around you. Makes life more interesting...

And whatever happened to multitasking?? You can obviously walk and chew gum at the same time. Now, you can't possibly text and do something else because the exact stimulai you're looking at is completely void if you try to do something else at the same time. It's not like talking outloud and cleaning a pot at the same time. Now, you can either text OR clean a pot- you cant possibly do both at the same time!! Kinda sucks.

It's funny. My ex and I used to isight all the time because we realized how impersonal it was to not speak or see the other one. And when we wanted to say something but didn't quit have the nerve to say it outloud, we would "mute talk." For example, I would mute my mike and say everything outloud that I wanted to- except, he couldn't hear me. He could only watch my facial expressions and lip read. It was actually kind of a weirdly sensual experience- cuz you're asking the other person to focus on a part of your face that they may have otherwise not noticed. I digress. The point is that you invent all kinds of new phrases that other people would only talk about if they'd experienced it themselves. And when you discover that someone else has used the same word, you form a really cool bond with them. Bonding over technology? Is that what makes people "techheads?"

Guess I'm just wondering to what extent technology can help you form bonds with people. Will it eventually replace human interaction? And can I form a relationship with someone purely over text? Cuz man, I'm really tryin over here...

God, I love weed.

"Hire Slow, Fire Fast"

-Marc Brownstein on 12.12.07 Advertising Age

Truer words were never spoken. I was speaking today with a producer we were shooting with, and I was reminded that we have 3 account people on our 1 account. Ya, it's kind of a big piece of business, but the account people don't do their jobs correctly. If they did, we would only need 1 of them. We've got a "marketing manager", a regular marketing girl, and an associate. Truth of the matter is that the associate is a waste of space and well, the manager leads when she wants to do and drops the ball when she wants to. Hell, they both need to get fired. But with the associate, I could have told you that within the first month of her being at work. It's funny though, every time she's fucked up, people get more upset over the complaints they get about her, than they do about her sucking at her job. How the hell does that make sense?! I agree with Mr. Brownstein, it's easy to know when someone sucks. Just like it should be easy to fire them. But to hire someone quickly, just to fill a space? Well, that's just stupid. Too bad that's my agency's way. Too bad they give people 6 months (ya, you heard me right) to get it right before they get fired as well. Remind me again why the hell I work here?!

Soft Pussy

They call him soft pussy. I've always known that he sucked, but surprisingly, I never gave him a nickname. Ever since I joined his team, I noticed that he was a pussy. He can't come up with big ideas, he doesn't motivate his team to do better work, and all he ever does is doubt everything. Either he hates an idea, or he's not sure about it. Up until the minute a site goes live, he'll insist that he's still not sure it's gonna work out. He looks up to the giants like everyone else does, but he doesn't do anything to match the genius other agencies have. Upper management refers to him as "soft pussy" and now I know why.

I haven't had a rant like this in a long time. Maybe that's because he's never pissed me off like he did today. Mr. Soft Pussy likes to employ soft peons on his team, save for me, the black sheep. He likes having passive people under him because that makes his job easier. He'll show us work other people have done and talk about how great the stuff is, telling us (not inspiring us) to do work like it. He'll present websites he just found that we've been circulating for weeks. He'll talk about how the reason we're not winning awards is because our ideas are too small- he's approved all of them. Well guess what Mr. Soft Pussy, if the ideas are too small, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Inspire us. Take us on excursions. Motivate us to do better. Sit in on brainstorms. Offer us guidance on how to think bigger. Don't just tell us that our ideas are too fucking small! Our ideas are too small because you've widdled them down 'til an idiot sleeping on the goddamned subway would be able to check it out. And guess what else Mr. Soft Pussy, you fucking approved all of these ideas. So, if you're telling us that everything sucks, why don't you step back and take a look at what you're doing wrong too!!

Here's the problem. Coming out of a creative ad school puts you a step above people in the corporate world. These dudes have been working at the same agency for years, still stuck on a PC, and have no idea what the newest trend is. They don't know how to concept for a medium they weren't trained for in undergrad. Mr. Soft Pussy can't even view half of our sites because he doesn't know how to use his computer! And then, Mr. SP has the nerve to tell me that he doesn't think our ideas are big enough. Maybe that's because he wouldn't know if a good idea hit him in the face! Or maybe it's because he's got me working under world's most passive ACD aka Ms. Jr. SP. She's stoic about everything! If a big idea she didn't come up with is presented, she either doesn't acknowledge it or she shoots it down. The 2 of them have me working with this new AD- and by new, I mean, he's never worked in a creative department, he's never worked with a writer, and he sure as hell does not know how to concept or design- he basically lied on his resume. Six goddamned months I've been in hell, and SP has the nerve to tell me that I should be carrying douchekid art director if he sucks that much. He doesn't offer a partner switch, he doesn't offer to make things better. Rather, for the last 6 months, he's told me that they're doing "something" about it. Today, he revealed that he's been lying. He hasn't done shit. What does that tell me about how he values me as a team member? He tells me that the work this morning was terrible and that it impacts poorly on him. About fucking time he's realized that this isn't working!!

Look, I'll own up to ditching a few concepting sessions here and there because I can't bare the thought of working with douchekid. But shit, if I wanted to work alone, I'd open up my own shop. Nah, fuck that- you can't work alone in advertising! Just give me a goddamned talented team and I'll show you what good work is, Soft Pussy!!!

Honestly though, what does it say about senior management's skills if they refer to one of their worker bees as "Soft Pussy" but don't have the nerve to do anything about it?? All I know is that I would rather work for a Hard Cock of a Creative Director anyday, then work for with douchekid, Ms. Jr. SP, and this pathetic hack.

Bucket a Chicken

MMMM...


What, is there something on my face?


Post-food coma

Sure, you could eat at KFC. But only a stupidhead drunk on holiday in London would think it's a good idea to get a bucket of chicken with 4 sides at 5 am. Did I mention that there's a huge outbreak of bird flu in the UK right now? God I'm stupid. And no, I didn't make this choice alone...

I write a mean blog

I was reminded tonite that while my writing for work may not be entertaining (thanks to certain clients who continually make me boring), my blog doesn't suck. Thank you Rick Webb.

So, I've decided that I should give an update on Starfucks. Here's the deal:
-Brace dude- he gets all sorts of excited when he sees me, because who wouldn't be stoked when they get to call someone by first name at stupid o'clock in the morning. He still doesn't remember my name, or my order, but by gosh, he gives me a smile. It does mildly annoy me though when he tries making chit chat.

-Stupid girl- yes, she's still stupid. No, she doesn't remember my order. And no, she still doesn't remember my name. The other day, I reciprocated the "how are you" greeting, and the dumb idiot actually goes on to tell me that her life sucks. What do you say to that? My response? "Don't worry, your life can only get better." Ha. I'm awesome. Sometimes she'll try and remember my order, and forget the extra-hot part. Pisses me off. She's so stupid.

-Tall girl- Yup. Still tall. She now refers to my order as "the usual." Love that. What I don't love is that the other day, I asked her about whether or not the Starbucks card can be used abroad and she didn't know the answer. You work at fucking Starbucks. How can you not now the basics about your loyalty program!? Esp. when you have a big ass promotion going on with Apple iTunes. You should know everything about the card if you have at least 2 posters up in your stupid store. Steve Jobs is gonna be real pissed when he gets my letter about this.

-Coffee guy. He doesn't say hi. He won't make eye contact. He doesn't give me my drink by name anymore. Hell, I don't even think he adds love to my drink anymore. I think he's upset we didn't make out. But I'm not. And that's all that matters. Woohoo!


P.s. Halloween in NY is whack. Kinda like crack. But in a much better entertaining way.

Happy Humpday

My happy place for the day, courtesy of Dave Clark:

Fuck United Airlines

They are quite possibly the worst airline in the whole galaxy. Their new system of checking in at the airport has wasted minutes of my life that I can never get back. It's the first time that I will acknowledge that machines cannot replace people when it comes to air travel. Here's how they time-raped me:

Thursday nite:
I sign up online to receive calls from United confirming my flights.

Friday morning- flight @ 8:20 am from Boston to San Fran:
-Get a call from United at 6 am. My flight has been cancelled says the automated machine. Would I like to speak to a reservation specialist? Fuck yes, I would.
-6:15 am, talk with a reservation woman. She tells me the next flight to San Fran from Boston through United is at 4 pm. She re-routes me on another flight leaving Boston at 9:30 am through American Airlines. But I need to check in with United first, get my tickets, then proceed to American for my flight. The airline recommends getting to the airport 90 minutes before my flight. Cool, my trip is saved.
- On way to airport, I call the car service that's picking me up in San Fran. Tell them my new flight number and arrival time.
- Get to the airport at 8 am. Stand in line for "easy" check-in. Get to the front. My confirmation # doesn't work. BIG SURPRISE. United lady puts me in another line named "additional services." Nothing about that line was "easy."
-While in line, I get a call from the car service. The flight I gave him doesn't exist. Awesome.
- In line at "additional services"- some dude passes out and the paramedics come. Only problem? Dude is fuckin' blocking one of the counters with flight agent. My line doesn't move for 20 minutes until this dude can get up. Turns out he was hungover. Thanks for being a waste of space asshole. Riddle me this- how come Fergie can't board a plane cuz she's visibly drunk, but random-passed-out-hungover dude is allowed to check in to his flight after he's wasted our tax dollars on paramedics and helped half of us miss our flight??? Not even an apology from him to the people in line, for being such an ugly douchebag. I hate him and wish something worse had happened to him, just to justify his suckage of my time.
- Get to counter at 8:45 am- note: 45 minutes before my flight. Dumb travel agent is training a new girl and speaks as if other girl doesn't know english. Wastes 10 minutes explaining things to her. Lo and behold, the flight exists, but the dumb broad I spoke to on the phone, didn't follow protocol to get my ticket. I have no confirmation. Flight is booked.
- I go ripshit on idiot counter lady. Dropped the passenger bill of rights on her ass and demanded she get me on a flight since she's now made me miss any chance of going standby on this flight. She tells me there's nothing she can do and offers to get the supervisor. Damn right, bitch.
-Supervisor comes over, I explain that I got robbed by United. She tells counter girl to look away cuz she's about to do something illegal. Next thing I know, I'm booked on the 11 am flight through United to San Fran (WHAAA- THERE WAS AN 11 AM FLIGHT THE WHOLE TIME? Dumb bitch on the phone lied to me!!) with an aisle emergency row seat, and all for the price of going through extra security screening. Hell yes. Supervisors are supervisors for a reason. They work hard for their money.

Ok, so maybe that wasn't so bad. But check this:

Sunday morning- 1 pm flight from San Fran to Boston- direct flight

-Car service coming to get me at 11. Yeehaw.
-9:30 am, I call airline. Guess what?!!? My mutha fuckin flight is cancelled AGAIN!!
- Get on phone with reservation person again. She puts me on new flight at 1:55 pm through Chicago. 47 minute layover, then have flight to Boston.
- Call car service- they say they'll pick me up at noon.
_ Guess what?! Never got the fucking flight status call from United I signed up for. What a waste.
-Get to airport at 12:15 pm. Stand in line for "easy" check-in. Get to check-in and once again, my shit don't work!! United line lady tells me I need to speak to a counter person.
- I go to counter person, he orders me to stand in "additional services" line and tells me to wait my turn. FUCKING ASSHOLE, LET THE GAMES BEGIN. AGAIN.
-I get in line, again. While i'm waiting in line, everyone is on the phone with the airline. I call them too. After the third time yelling "Help" at their automated system, I finally get a live person. I yell at that person for having such a shitty system, she does nothing. Apologizes. About fucking time. First and only apology I ever got from United.
-People in line are all too nice. Notice people coming from other lines and cutting our line. No one says anything, we all just fester in anger.
-1 pm: I get to front of the line. I see a Russian bitch try and cut to speak to an agent. I yell across the room "I don't think so, lady! Get in line like everyone else!" Of course the slut is on the phone and tries telling me in broken english that she needs to make her flight. "Join the club. Wait your turn like everyone else. I'm serious. Get. In line and wait your friggin turn." I take no prisoners.
-Russian lady gets smacked down by Nazi counter agent and she storms off, still on the phone with her husband-to-be who probably mail ordered her.
-I get to counter. Counter agent lady is mad at me. Probably for yelling at Russian girl. I don't care. She tells me she hates her job. I tell her I hate her job too. And her airline. She wants to quit. Rad. Fix my shit first, woman!
- She does, but can't give me a seat. At least she gives me a seat from Chicago to Boston. Thanks god.

1:25 pm- Get to counter to get my seat assignment. They had called my name and had a seat for me, praise Allah.
1:45 pm- Get on the flight only to realize there are about 300 people on the plane. I have the last seat in the last row. Of course. I tell a flight attendant that I have 47 minutes between my connecting flight and that it would be awesome if close to landing, I could possibly move up to the front-ish part of the plane. She shoots me down saying it's a full flight. Really? No shit bitch- I had to wade through 300 stanky people to get to my seat.
7:50 pm- 15 minutes before landing in Chicago another attendant assures me it will only take 3.5 minutes for everyone to de-board. I will not miss my flight. What is it with this airline and their redonkulous lies?!

8:15 pm- Get off plane (it DID NOT take 3.5 minutes for people to get off- you do the math). Run to get food and pee. Run to terminal for connecting flight. Ha. Flight is fucking delayed. For shame.

8:55 pm- Finally get on plane to Boston. ETA, 12:09 am.

12:15 am- De-board, get my luggage. Wait on longest taxi line ever. Can't wait to get home and curse United in the comfort of my own home.

As you can see, FLYING UNITED AIRLINES IS A WASTE OF YOUR MONEY AND TIME. Spend the extra $100 and go JetBlue. They never let you down. Sigh. I heart JetBlue.


**I'm sorry if I offended any people of Russian decent. Lesson of the story, if you're on the cell phone while dealing with a dilemma, anything that sets you apart from anyone else will be picked on. End of story.

**Also, I don't really wish anything bad on random-passed-out-hungover dude. There's something in the Old Testament that says something like, intentionally embarassing someone is comparable to murder. So I suppose his embarassment of being a retard was similar to wanting to die. Which in itself is a pretty shitty feeling. I guess he probably felt like a HUGE douchebag, and that's enough for me.

OMG Coffee!

The past 3 days have been quite interesting at my local shop aka Starfucks.

Monday:
I walked in at about 9:54 am after taking Friday off and tall girl yells, "There's Leah!!" Felt highly embarassed and kept wishing that there was a hot guy in front of me I could make a smart remark to in response. Ugh. I hate Mondays.

Tuesday:
Totally came in late- around 10:00 am. Tall girl tried remembering my order. Once again forgot it. Sigh.

Wednesday:
THE BREAKTHROUGH DAY!!
Ran late again- what a surprise. Walked in around 10:03 and saw a new dude at the register. I'm going to dub him Brace Dude. He's got braces- duh. So I walk up, and he gives me this big fake smile with his mouth full of braces and asks what I want. Tall girl totally intercepts and says, "Oh, this is Leah, she's one of our regulars." WOOHOO! I'M A MUTHAFUCKIN REGULAR!! So riddle me this...if I'm a regular how come she still had to ask what my order was?!!??! WTF!! So, I tell her my order for the zazillionth time, explain to Brace Dude how he's supposed to ring my order up and how much it should come to, give him my card and go and wait for Coffee guy to make mine. Tall girl asks how I am, I tell her I'm late. Then, get this... I get my coffee (yes, Coffee dude now just says my name, not my order) and as I'm walking out, Tall girl for the first time EVER yells, "BYE LEAH!" I look back, throw her the half smile, and walk out.

For you Mr. Vane

I had a very interesting last weekend in Seattle at my cousin't wedding. This weekend opened my eyes to the varying levels of humanity I've seen in the past 3 days. Here they are:

1) When was the last time you got a ride from a stranger and didn't feel uncomfortable? Patrick Vane is my hero. He arrived at my cousin's wedding arriving mid-day Sat. and left earlier-than-normal Sunday morning to give me a ride to the airport on account of my brother being a lame ass and not wanting to. Not only was it the best road trip I've ever had, but I think I've converted yet another wealthy person to indulge in coupons. I call him "wealthy" because he was rich in personality and chose to drive a Mini instead of his Porsche. I don't think I've ever sat in a car for 4 hours and not looked at my watch. So yes, today and for the rest of July, Patrick Vane has reached the quan of human decency.

2) Since when does a 50-something woman have precedence over a pregnant woman for a seat? I'm at the airport and a pregnant woman with a massive stroller and a 2 year-old on her hip walks over to this 50-something. She asks if anyone is sitting at the 4 seats she's hovering over. And the old woman says "yes." Pregnant lady with balls of steel, calls her out on it and asks "who?" And the old lady says while pointing, "Me, my husband, my mother and my son." FUCKING CUNT. So, the pregnant lady walks away, sweaty, irritated and fat looking for another seat. I couldn't help but glare at this wanna be cougar and want to punch her in the throat. Her life is almost over and this pregnant lady is not only carrying the future generation in her uterus, but she's holding an impressionable child who now has no idea what respect is. Pisses me off.

3) Ever since Lost came out, all I care about is my safety on a plane should we crash. I always ask for an emergency aisle seat. Well, this flight, I don't end up getting one. But guess who did...a dude who was missing a hand. So of course, I look at the emergency pamphlet and read through the eligibility section to see who's allowed to sit there. And guess what!? You need to have both hands and feet able and ready to perform the duties of emergency aisle sitter. Well fuck. Do you think anyone said a damn word to this dude?? Nope. I couldn't figure out why either. Would it be discrimination if the flight attendant had made him move? If so, wouldn't this discrimination be totally viable? Especially since other lives would have been in jeopardy if this dude couldn't use a second hand to get the door open? All I have to say is that the one-handed dude was lucky there wasn't an emergency. Cuz I would have trampled him to get that door opened...does that make me an asshole?


7/11/07 4:52 pm
THIS JUST IN COURTESY OF AN UNNAMED SOURCE:::

Turns out its okay to request the one hand wonder to move from his seat:

Two reasons actually:

1st - Under the constitution its okay to discriminate (read-kick a one handed wonder out of his seat) against a "protected group" (readhandicapped folks), as long as there is a RATIONAL RELATIONSHIP (Supreme court language) between the discriminatory act (Kicking the dude out) and a "greater governmental purpose" (making sure able bodied folks are sitting in the exit rows in case of an accident).

2nd - FAA (Federal Aviation Administration) regs specifically require that only able bodied individuals sit in emergency row exit seats. I know this because I worked my way through law school as a flight attendant for United oveseas routes.

THANKS FOR THIS ENLIGHTENING PIECE OF INFORMATION!! xo

The coffee guy is stalking me

So, I get to Starbucks today and of course the dumb girl attemps to remember my order. Totally fucks it up, yet again. After I correct her begrudgingly, I pay and wait for my coffee. Coffee guy comes up to me and asks if I was at Big City last weekend. I was. And I saw him there. And panicked. Because this is now the second time he's seen me outside of my happy Starbucks zone. Of course I admit that the truth and accuse him of stalking me. Tall girl is busy making my coffee and for the first time EVER she got personal. Asked me where I worked, how my weekend was, etc. Then she gets in on insisting that coffee guy is stalking me. And now, to add to Monday morning misery I'm reminded once again how small of a city Boston is and that my Starbucks coffee guy is inescapable. Maybe it's finally time to switch to a different Starbucks...

LMFAO

When all else fails, blue crazy girl can still bring a smile to my face. Every. Time. Full stop.

Praise Jebus

Sometimes, I wonder if life would be easier if I were born Christian, Catholic, or any one of those. I found this on some random girl's myspace page. She seems to believe in God and Jesus so entirely, it blows my mind. I mean, is life easier when you don't have to worry about boyfriends or marriage and you can just look to God to find happiness?

Monday, November 20, 2006


God stuff.... read only if you care about Him and me.

God blows my mind!! it seems like the second i think what else could go wrong or that it's all straighting out that it all hits the fan again (if you get my drift). and yet through it all i can sense God more than i have in a LONG time. i don't get it. there is so much to life right now i seriously feel like i have no emotion left and yet i can feel my soul crying. how did Jesus do it? i know i'm gonna get though this and i know that it's gonna rock more than breathing makes life happen and yet it's all so hazy. i feel God's presence so strong and i am listening to His voice but i feel so lost. it's like the more i'm willing to throw it to Him the more confused i get. He is so strong, so powerful, so amazing, so forgiving, so peaceful, so loving and my source of life and still i'm torn. if anyone has ever said that growing was easy they were serously wrong. don't get me wrong i'm excided to see God working but it's just to draining. i am really learning to put my energy in his hands, something i've never really had to do because He has always given me plenty. there are times that all i wanna do is sit in His presence but i know that i have stuff to do. God as i write this i have homework to be doing but i feel i need to write this. so once again i obey and surender my life and my grades to You. You have to give me the money and the grades to get though all this. You have to give me Your wisdom, Your energy, Your strength, Your peace and Your life. thanks God for the encouragement you have provided though caleb rowden's music. seroiusly every single song has spoken to me right where i am, now where i once was and not only just as little reminders but as worship and my heart crying out to God. God i'm not sure what all you're doing but i know i'm so excited to be part of it and i know that you're gonna get me and everyone else through it all, because you are a faithful God! my prayer is as follows: God, thanks for your love and please keep strengthening me in you and keep me in your glow. allow me to continue drawing on you and you on me as you lead me through life. You are so breathtaking and i am so speechless. God you are nothing more and nothing less than everything. "...my troubled mind, reminding me of desperation and of the peace i long to find, i wrestle with this world... it was your love a dead world's pardon, you gave it all, you gave for me, i'm falling into you. to you my life i will surrender, surreneder heart, min flesh and soul, reveal to me, reveal your calling, it is your will i long to know! cuz i'm falling into your love overwhelming, i'm falling into your grace, i'm falling where my heart knows no wrong, i'm falling into you..." God just take me in and be my all and all! ::sigh::

i know this is random as eating french fries on chistmas morning would be but it it just my heart and my thoughts. and yet i feel as if this can't and doesn't even begin to explain me, my thoughts and God.

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Crazy, huh? Amen sista. Amen.

The Rules

My brother has 3 rules to a girl landing a boyfriend.
1- If you want a guy to be your boyfriend, don't sleep with him for at least 2 months. (read: sleep with him = sex)
2- Be unavailable
3- Lose weight. No one likes a fat girl.

Truer words have never been spoken.

Old love

If you've ever witnessed someone having a heart flutter, it's quite possibly one of the most beautifully raw human emotions. Spring brings this kind of thing around every year. It's really odd seeing someone experience it for the first time, but it almost starts a chain reaction. Because you can relate to the person it happens to, and somehow, even if it has nothing to do with you, you want to apply it to yourself. Miraculously, I've seen love (I use that term loosely) this week.

The First Kiss
I always imagined that once you hit a certain age, everyday emotions don't apply to you anymore...like a first kiss. I was sitting on my front stoop around 10 pm and I saw a man and woman walking up to hers. They stopped, said a few words (I was too far away to hear) and then the awkward moment happened; when someone has to get the balls to go in for it. It was heart stopping. He bent down to give her a little peck, and slowly it became passionate kiss. He hesitated as he moved his arms to her sides, hers slowly moved to his. Eventually, they embraced a little bit more and he moved his hands to her face. And you could just tell that they were smitten; because there's nothing in the world like that first kiss with someone. It's so promising, and in that moment, you know something is about to happen. Anxiety dissipates and even for the shyest person, all inhibitions halt and instinct takes over. They pulled apart, looked at each other and smiled. She tore herself away from him and as she walked up her stairs, she asked him to call her later. He stayed and watched her open the first door, then the main door. She was in her building, and he just stood there catching his breath- you could see his glowtion. A second later, he turned and walked away. I couldn't see his face, but I knew that he must have had the most real smile on his face, because even I did for him. Coming from a person who doesn't necessarily believe that you only fall in love once, watching this "couple" gave me hope; that life doesn't stop when you get old. You can still get that high school adrenaline rush from a first kiss.
My realization: Maybe marriage isn't the way to go- what if you could have that first kiss feeling over and over for years to come! I don't need to get married right away. I can wait until I'm 50 something and still find "the one."