Beaurocrazy

Lately it amazes me how my agency can be so successful yet is run so poorly. Because of bureaucracy and politics, nothing gets done correctly, and instead the mentality here breeds pussies, not leaders. People have become corporatized and monkeys to the institution. Because I'm a creative, I'm constantly questioning things and thinking about ways the system can be improved. Some call it malaise with the agency, but I consider it to be frustration over being subordinate to a failing process. Here are some of my ideas for betterment:

When a client doesn't get it:
Sit them down and explain how the web works. Give them a list of websites that have rocked and some that have failed. Have them tell you which they like, then reveal the truth about the sites they liked (how well they performed, etc.). Did the site win an award? Or was it an abomination and embarrassment to its makers? Then, explain your mission in having a successful collaborative relationship with them. Everything you do, is in their best interest. You would never create something that sucks. If they still don't get it, fire them. No amount of money is worth doing bad work.

A company website:
An agency website should reflect what that agency is about. If the site sucks, that's a pretty good indication what the workplace is like. For some reason, the Global ECD here, refuses to let us redesign the site. He insists that the his main office is handling it. Yet, it's been a year now, and the site still looks like a glutton barfed on it. I'm sick of hearing all these stories about how we're moving from a marketing agency to a creative one, and yet, our site blows chunks. Funny, the agency used be a marketing agency, yet they're still completely shit about marketing themselves as creative. Hmmm. How does that work? If you're gonna say something, do something.

Account vs. Creative:
Here's the deal. An agency would be nothing without the creative department. That being said, technically, the creatives should be treated with more respect than you would treat your client with. Because sure, the client pays you, but the client pays you to get CREATIVE work to them. So, if someone in account management tampers with creative, or compromises the creative in any way, they lack respect and should be dealth with- it should not be taken as being rude or disrespectful if a creative puts someone in their place for messing with the work.

The point of account people is to be the liason between client and creative. Now, i'm not saying that they're unnecessary, because I don't mind account people. It's when they treat creatives like idiots that I have the problem with them. It's when they feel that hearing creative feedback from the client should not involve the creative team. We don't need interpreters, we understand English. What we need is someone who is detached from the creative who can speak to the client concerns without biting their heads' off. Someone who will stand up for the creative when we're not so eloquent. Someone who will push and fight for the creative and really believe that it's the best it can be. If the client doesn't get it, it's your job to calm them down and educate them on our intentions.

The brief:
brief: noun
1. A short, succinct statement.
2. A condensation or an abstract of a larger document or series of documents.

Now, if a client gives you a brief, give it to us. We can decipher it. If the agency requires that the account person needs to do one, that's cool too. However, don't take a 1-page brief and turn it into 5 pages. Why? Because 5 pages, is not fucking brief! It's called a "brief" for a reason. If we wanted a novel, it would be called a novel. Give us a BRIEF, make it awesome, and make it inspirational. If you give us a novel, we should be able to turn it down and ask you to deliver what was asked of you. After all, that's what you do to us, right?

Titles:
They're bullshit. All we need to know is what you do (CW, AD, etc). We all do the same work, and work at the same level. The only thing we should know is who the boss is, and that person is the CD. Done.

Fired:
When people start losing respect for a CD, that person should be replaced. If this were the standard, there would always be someone in a CD position who is a role model. Plus, it gives people something to aspire to.

Staying late:
You do it if you have to. "Late" means anything after 8 pm at least. If you leave earlier than that, you are not allowed to bitch if you must stay late once in awhile. This should apply to every department- including production and illustrators. If you're a CD and your team stays late, you should too- that way, should something arise, you are there and are playing your part. This also applies to the account mgmt. team. If your team is working late, stick around for a bit- get them dinner, see if you can help. It's really not that hard.

Creative programs:
If you're in the creative department, you should have access to any computer program you need. No questions asked. If a writer wants Photoshop, there's a good reason. Who are you to question it? You have no title. Duh.

Time Sheets:
Should be abolished. It's when you quantify how much your time is worth that you're reminded how much you'd rather be doing something else. All we should know is that our time is valued and that we are indispensable.

Security doors on every floor:
Here's the thing, if you have security at the entrance of your building, why the need for security doors at every floor? I can't tell you how many times people have been trapped inside an elevator bank waiting for someone to buzz them in because they forgot their badge. Or how many times you've seen the elevator come and go, but haven't been able to make it because you have to swip your i.d. or push the button in order to open the 20 pound door. It's such a waste of time. If people did their jobs at the base of the building, we wouldn't have such a mistrust for foreign people coming onto our floors. That's all I have to say about that.

Hiring new talent:
I've recently come to admit/acknowledge that the guy they hired to be my partner SUCKS puss-filled, hairy balls. He has no talent, doesn't ask questions, and has the most annoying voice ever created. His portfolio is pathetic, and he's cocky. He was hired as a mid-level art director and to this day, I have yet to see him do something I couldn't do in under an hour if only I were given photoshop. It's one thing to interview someone based on their book, but how do you interview someone about their concepting skills? Oooh. Ooh. Me! I know the answer! Ya don't. You either know how to concept, or you don't. You can't learn in under a year, or in a crash session. If you can't concept, you deserve to get fired. If you repeatedly go to client meetings with the wrong information, you should get fired. If your partner first does her job, then does yours, you deserve to get fired. We may not be the best agency, but we can afford to be picky in terms of who we hire. All I know is that if people don't like working together, fix it. Move them around- make their working environment fun and awesome. Don't make people work together when one is clearly better than the other. Cuz that's just cruel...

Reviews for a promotion/raise:
People should get promoted and/or a raise based on their work. Who gives a shit if people like you or not? Advertising isn't about making friends- it's about the art of manipulation. If you can create something cool and convince the client that people will buy it, you've done your job. The place I'm at now puts your career in other people's hands. You can request that certain people be asked to give you feedback, but your manager can totally fuck you and ask whomever they want- regardless of your list. So what the fuck is the point of even making a list?!? There isn't' one. The process is archaic and makes you feel like you constantly need to kiss people's asses in the hopes of becoming prom queen. Here's the deal. You should get promoted based on the amount of work you put in, the quality of the work you create and the perseverance to do better than the guy next to you. End of story.


**Ultimately, if you don't like the way something's being done, do it better. Offer ways to improve it. If it doesn't take, get the hell out. Life's too short to deal with other people's b.s. We all have our own.