Friday, September 02, 2005

My favorite drink? Hater-ade.


People always bitch about how "hate" is such a strong word. Well, hello! Duh, of course, it's a strong word. That's why it's one of my favorites. I think it's reallly important to have opinions and to feel strongly about something. Hence my constant usage of the word. I love to hate. I think it's so much fun to feel that strongly about someone or something. For example, I absolutely hate this one girl I went to school with. From the day I met her, to today, I absolutely loathe her. I can't stand how much makeup she wears, I hate how she never wears shirts that fit her, I hate that she's always about no, never about yes. The thing that gets me the most about her, is that my hate is justified. She's one of those people who smiles so rarely, that when she does, it makes you uncomfortable; like you don't know if it's sincere, or not. She's a bitch to everyone, and her first impression is the same as her last impression...complete and utter cunt. So yes, I hate her. And if you were to ask me how I feel about her tomorrow, even after she's bought me a shot of tequila to reconcile, I'd still hate her. Why? Because I hate tequila and I hate her.
Now, with that being said, I was thinking of making a never-ending list of things I hate. This way, my becoming a superior hater will be complete.
I hate:
-getting out of bed when it's cold outside
-liver
-having a hangnail with no nail file in sight
-velvet
-liars
-hangovers
-people who fish for compliments
-when people call and don't leave messages - they just want you to know that they called. So lame.
-being broke
-fans that emit hot air
-fake boobs
-wearing underwear
-boys who think they can dance
-guys who think the trigger finger actually works
-THAT guy
-people who assume that everyone from The Valley speak like they do in the movies
-fakeness
-people who are afraid of confrontation- a note about this: if you have a problem with someone, don't be a pussy and email or text them your problem- say it to their face.
-that my cell phone NEVER works like it's supposed to
-people who have lived in the US for 5+ years and still can't speak english
-that smoking gives you cancer
-cancer
-being so much taller than all my girlfriends
-crying for sadness
-people who are too lazy to put the toilet paper on the roll, but rather sit it atop it.
-bug bites
-people who are stuck in their high school days
-bad spellers
-people who contradict themselves
-people who can't admit they're ever wrong
-paper cuts
-stepping in gum
-tissues that fall apart when you blow into them
-paper towels that don't absorb anything when their ads promise they do
-when food gets stuck in my teeth
-the way ravers dress- scratch that. just ravers in general.
-when DVDs are scratched
-the sound a cd makes when it skips
-bug chasers
-people who substitute powerbars and protein drinks for food
-cats and pigeons
-when boys don't know how to say goodbye and the end of a date
-people who don't return phone calls within the week
-being late, or anyone else being late
-having to stop drinking on account of being too drunk
-people who snore
-puking in public places
-that good weed shows in your eyes
-hair
-when people hide their emotions or put down other people's emotions
-the word "interesting"
-that people need possession of things
-morning breath
-that cat sound people make when someone's being a bitch
-immaturity
-that I can't sync my phone to my computer
-money
-dry skin
-being pale
-bloodshot eyes
-that I have curly hair
-that people think familial love is unconditional and not earned
-competition
-dust
-when i try to clear a puddle and don't
-that the salt they use to make the snow dry, stains clothes
-zits
-body odor
- Hidden pride. Yes, I hate hidden pride. If you're proud, show it. There's nothing worse than someone who you know is proud, but won't admit it.
-corporatized people who are afraid to be real just in case HR is called
-when guys in their late 20's still don't know how to act/or do anything productive in bed
-all shows based on the police
-when people confuse ignorance with being mean
-cock blockers- both girls and guys who kill your game
-cellulite
-when people don't move out of the way when you need to get off the train
-white people who think they're black
-people who are cheap
-people who have money, complain about being broke, and then go on shopping sprees
-people who have issues but refuse to go to therapy
-people who think therapy is only for messed up people
-forced diversity
-people who don't own up when they've made a mistake. there would never be a need for blame if people were just honest.
-being forced to work with people who have no talent but are able to keep their jobs because we can't find anyone better.
-being invited to something, then getting ignored by the person who invited you.
-people who don't tell the whole truth (similar to liars, whom I hate, but a little bit different)
-guys in their 30's who STILL don't know what they're doing in bed
- people who can't handle their shit when wasted
-feeling embarrassed
-being intentionally embarrassed by someone else
-false hope
when I can't find my song on iTunes

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