I'm so not Gozer.

Gimme a different nickname, DJ. I'm not fucking around.

So sad

Just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse, I find out that Zima is being discontinued. Long sigh.

In honor of the last official day for 2008 voter registration. Enjoy.

See more Hayden Panettiere videos at Funny or Die

The Bum Savant

Introducing...The Bum Savant. This guy sits in the Commons and yells out predictions he's got for the year. In the middle of a week that was plagued with rain and 50 degree weather, this guy screams that the next day will be 70 degrees. Doncha know, he was right. I hereby love The Bum Savant. Up next, lottery numbers to watch out for.

BAGS

We just discovered there's a BAGS locally. T-R-O-U-B-L-E.

Like little boys

The reactions from the guys make this hilarious. Sort of.

Todd on a Taun Taun

This is what you do at 5:12 am while you're waiting to encode, render, make the donuts, and ensure it's all HD compatible...

Pitching is the bestest

Just thought I would immortalize some classic lines from tonite's all-niter. Much thanks to DCT. "You make me happy just being around you."

"These kids don't wanna do anything. They're too busy chillin' on their couches bongin' out." - Scott

"I will gut you like a Taun Taun, climb inside and take a nap."
- Todd

"Hey Leah, are you a bottom girl?" - David

"My cat's sphincter will kick your pussy dog's ass." - Elliott

"What? I could have called it a leathery O ring." -Elliott

"I have no problem sending Leah to NY." - David

"This work makes me want to poop." -Scott

"Leah, you better shut up or I'll step on you like a cockroach. Oh wait, you're much taller than me. Nevermind." - Cruz

"Shut your mouth." - Todd

"I think you've got some gookie in yo eyyyyyyyeeeee!" - Elliott

"Dude, I can't wait to go up to my desk and geek out with Keynote." - Scott

"The law of the sea says what happens on the sea, stays on the sea." - Todd

"Hey Ray Ray!" - Elliott

"So like, back like 5 meetings ago they said not to do it, but to do it like this, so I wanna do it like this...wait, here lemme draw it. Ok ok ok, wait, go back. Ok, so there's this button and it goes here and then here, but then they wanted it here, so now it's gray." -Scott

"You've got positive negativity." - David/Elliott

"Do they taste like danger?" - Todd

Please save her

Poor Amy. Someone just needs to throw her a fuckin bone...

H-O-T

Sean Connery is the newest face for Louis Vuitton. About fucking time. Two of my favorite things in one ad...heaven.

Pret a Porter water

Jean Paul Gaultier and Evian collaborate. Seriously? Yes. Seriously.

Just in time for Fall.

Much thanks to R-squared for my new dunks...

MAIL GOGGLES

Most important invention of all time. Today, Google launched a new Labs feature Mail Goggles. This app. makes you do math problems before you send an email to verify your sobriety. By default, mail Goggles is only active late at nite on weekends.

Thank you Google for preventing me from drunk emailing. Just another reason I love you.

It's official.

Final decision on the dress frontier. When in doubt, go Betsey.

The Thumper

I have a new neighbor upstairs and already I hate her. In the past 2.5 years that I've lived here, I've never in my life heard the kind of thumping this bitch makes when she walks around the apt. She wakes me up at all hours of the night with her heavy walking and I swear to god, I'ma kill her if she doesn't fuckin lose some weight or something. Other than buying this slut a rug, what else can I do to get her to chill on the heavy walking?

Because it's Friday and I love Fridays.

Gotta love how these girls are such hookers. Except for the she-man in the first one. She may just be a tranny.

I need one

I need to find a cool broach like this one. But not this one. Any suggestions?

Gettin' over it.

They say that the time it takes to get over someone is half the time you were with him/her. But how long does it really take if were in love? And what if you still talk to him/her? How long before it gets better?

Damn, I'm such a chick.

My kinda spot

Diesel SFW XXX - Watch more free videos

Now how come when I present ideas like this, they get killed?

Wet

What do you do when it's raining and you lose your umbrella? Are you supposed to wait til it's clear and go buy another one? Or do you rough it, get wet, only to get dry again? Such are the dilemmas in my life...