What good is a cigarette if you don't have a light?

I was walking to work this morning in complete humidity and utter shitty weather and all I wanted was to have a cigarette. I quit smoking a couple months ago, but always have that one loner smoke in my bag for mornings like this. Figures that the one time I wanna inhale, I can't find fire for the life of me. It being Monday of course, I had a disappointing epiphany...what good is having something you want if you can't fully take advantage of it?


I work in advertising because it's my passion; my obsession; my life. But what's the point of being in this industry if I can't be the best I can at it? I don't suck, I'm actually pretty good. But if for some bullshit reason, I can't get a job at a hot shop, what's the point? It used to be so rewarding to wake up and do what I love, but I'm past that point now...at a dead-end job, where my battles aren't coming up with a great headline, it's dealing with other people's issues- and I'm not even a CD! It's not rewarding just to do the job. It's rewarding when you do something that makes a difference, or at least makes people look at it and laugh...or cry. But I can't even do that right now.

Why are the forces making it so hard to kick ass at what I do?